My Next Chapter: Introducing Manifestation
Deciding to Move On
I left my job of 10 years in June 2024. It was a long time coming, as I fought myself for several years over the prospect of moving on - but I always convinced myself to stay.
Relocating will change things for the better. I'll have more freedom!
This pandemic is terrifying - I'll ride out another year or two. I need the security.
Getting this promotion is going to give me more experience. I can change things for the better!
In a way, all of these became true. What they had in common was that they were all stories I told myself. I used them to convince myself that I was making the right decisions. My decision to leave also became a story I told myself.
I was living in Toronto for 2 years with my husband, as we had temporarily relocated for his career. It was the second time we relocated together, so I just told myself this was another good reason to stay with my job. I was lucky enough to move my role with me, so I retained my job when relocating from Ireland to Canada. This move did have an expiration date, June 2024, since we were both on work permits. We had no desire to settle in Canada permanently. June 2024 was etched into our minds.
It was Summer 2023 when I decided to plan my departure. As I was on a work permit, I couldn't easily get a new job if I left my company. This was a large factor in sticking with it until June 2024. I struggled for 12 months with what to do once I left. But leaving felt right, I had convinced myself of it. It was a natural stopping point for my job, as I would have to organise a relocation to move my role back home. So the choice was straightforward - organise a relocation, or leave.
The most crushing part was when colleagues asked me - "Where are you off to?". It was always the first question that was asked of leavers. They wanted to know what greener pastures I was pursuing. They always expected some big reason for a change when someone announced they were leaving - a big pay increase, a role more suited to their career, or even a complete career change. My answer - I'm taking a break. I felt anxious and less-than for not having what was perceived as a "good reason" for leaving. But it was a good enough reason for me. I needed a break.
The Catalyst for Change
The month that we moved home, July 2024, was incredibly busy. We had so much going on that I barely count that month as a break from work. It was exactly like the time off I had when I first relocated to Canada - days off work full of all the administration and packing that goes into moving country. Once we finally settled back at home, I gave myself until the end of the year to take a break. Five months was surely enough time!
Little did I realise that 3 months into this break, I was still worrying about work. I took this time away from work to relax and examine what I want in life. This was not a productive time, however, as the space that work occupied in my brain held onto the stress and worry about my old projects. They were no longer my responsibility, but after 10 years, it was hard to quit cold turkey.
I decided to change the narrative around my old job. That was a period of my life which I decided to end, for reasons I believed were necessary. It was my responsibility to my sanity that I look forward to the future, and not the past. When I had creeping anxiety about work, I told myself - No, these feelings and worries are not productive. The only thing that helped me get past these feelings was to make new plans for my time. It was wonderful being able to watch movies, play video games, and visit friends and family whenever I wanted. But, without a real purpose, the negativity crept back in. In December 2024, two very impactful things happened - I came up with a plan for how to approach 2025, and I bought a little book that would unknowingly change the course of my life.
New Year, New Me
As 2025 got closer, I decided to dedicate each week to a different facet of my life. I called this my 52-Week Project. I'm still working on a better name. The purpose was simple - I would consciously dedicate each week to one thing in my life that I wanted to work on for self-improvement. The specific week would be the beginning of that action, with the intention that I take the positive elements forward as good habits. A year is a long time to dedicate to anything, but this plan felt safe to me. I couldn't think of 52 things to work on, however, this is where the beauty of the process came in - I didn't have to have them figured out yet. Instead, I set out my plans one month at a time, figuring that by the end of January, I would have some ideas to take into February. By setting a weekly goal for myself, it was a lot easier to make a decision about the following week's focus.
Having only 7 days to work on something meant that my goals had to be SMART - Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound. I didn't realise this at the time I began the project, but I finally could put this corporate jargon to work. I am going to leave the specifics of the project and my journey with it for another post, but I will mention some relevant highlights. The month of January was dedicated to getting organised - examining my existing habits, organising my house, building an exercise routine, and organising my digital workspace (in other words, my phone and laptop).
February and March were formative months as I moved into exploring old hobbies, such as dedicated learning, reading, and writing. My experiences led to dedicating Week 12 to exploring Manifestation.
How I Found Manifestation
You might be asking - how did you decide that Manifestation deserved its own week? Well, it's a very long story if I break it down step by step, but I'll give you the highlights.
In my inaugural blog post, I spoke about my inspiration behind starting to write more [>>> Click Here to Read <<<]. In addition to my 52-Week Project, I made a resolution to only watch new movies and TV shows when I was in front of the television on my own. Binging comfort shows was a big time sink of mine, and I recognised that it was hampering my productivity. This was an important resolution to help focus my attention on my weekly goals. Well, through an absurd combination of The Matrix, a drag queen, and a very pretty notebook, I settled on putting my energy into exploring the practices of manifestation… and finally getting around to that book I bought 3 months prior - The Little Book of Manifestation.
I began my journey with the notebook I bought, calling it my Dream Journal. Its purpose was simple - to house my musings about realising my dream of becoming a writer. I wrote my first entry explaining my intentions for the journal - that it will be where I only talk about ideas, intentions, and actions related to my dream. I write in it once per week. I took one evening to myself, while my husband was away, to sit down and start reading my Little Book. It was indeed little, at only 127 pages, and from the first couple of pages, I knew this book would become a staple reference guide for years to come.
How I Connected With Manifestation
The Little Book begins with a description of manifestation and its history, then moves on to the basics of practicing manifestation. Later, it introduces detailed steps behind the practices, and finishes with how to apply those practices in your life. In my first reading, I paused about 50 pages in so I could focus on the introductory chapters and initial practices. I resonated so deeply with the content that I couldn't help but take notes on my phone as I read. I took frequent breaks to write or save voice notes about my thoughts. What stood out to me the most while reading was - I was already practicing manifestation!
Manifestation is the practice of consciously expressing your desires using positive energy in order to draw positive experiences towards you. Remain positive, and you attract positivity from the people you meet, the content you consume, and the art you create. The mindset behind manifestation is that you can create the life you want by telling the universe what you want, and in turn, taking cues from the universe to lead you in the right direction. As an avid believer in "Everything happens for a reason", I finally felt like I had some structure to my belief system for the first time in my life.
I gave myself two weeks to sit with this new knowledge before launching into the remainder of the book. I wanted to ground myself in the introduction so I could get stuck into learning about specific rituals and techniques of working with manifestation when I read on. This proved to be a good strategy because it gave me time to digest what I had learned and begin learning about the practices with a fresh perspective. As I continued to read, I noticed that I had already been following a lot of the practices that the book outlined. As this was my first introduction to manifestation in a formal setting, it was an otherworldly experience to recognise that the little habits I have, the curious projects I engage in, and my affinity for an organised calendar all mapped to existing manifestation practices.
What Does This All Mean for Me?
Learning that I already naturally operate following the practices of manifestation, I was excited to explore this practice even more. With very little effort, I reframed my relationship with dreams, and the direction I want to take Kiki Dreams Big. I am currently working on revisiting each practice laid out in the Little Book to see how I can improve my existing habits of writing, visualization, and taking action.
I am excited to share more about the specific practices I follow and how they relate to building my life of happiness. Expect to see a deeper dive into manifestation practices - including steps to follow if you would like to give manifestation a try! I truly believe that anybody can find some good in the teachings of manifestation because your heart’s desire is at the centre of these practices. You create the narrative, and you reap the rewards. Manifestation is a collaboration between you and the universe.
Set out your intentions, and watch for the cues from the universe - sometimes they can come from the most unlikely of places.
Kiki <3
