Kiki’s Big Dream Experiment - Week 2 - Seeking Knowledge
Week 2 of Kiki’s Big Dream Experiment
Hey Dreamer,
Thank you for joining me as I close out Week 2 of Kiki’s Big Dream Experiment.
I struggled this week to think of content to create. I wasn’t sure what my message should be, and I think I now know why I was struggling this week. Seeking knowledge is something I’ve been doing my whole life because I love learning. I’ve never not been seeking knowledge in some way. As a result, I feel like I am in a vast ocean of experience with the topic, and I’ve been trying to figure out how to put the entire sea into 9 cups. It’s not possible.
I hope I have given some enlightening tidbits this week across my social media channels.
I have been struggling with my focus because the past 3 weeks have been constant movement and little time to truly recover. But what I’ve learned this week has been really important - seeking knowledge has been a personal journey, not a collective one.
I have come away with a lot to think about. Between seeing therapists, entering a new social space, and trying to understand myself and why this week has been so foggy, I realised that I am still at the beginning of a journey when it comes to Seeking Knowledge.
That’s why everything feels so disjointed. I thought I had been in a place where I can move forward with determination, but I realise that I am just at the bottom of yet another ladder. That realisation in itself has been very helpful.
Before I get too much into speaking about this - I want to share the content I produced this week.
Mon · 13th Oct:
Podcast Episode on Spotify - Episode 2 - Seeking Knowledge - The next episode of my podcast, where I talk about the theme of Seeking Knowledge and how it is a vast topic to explore
Tue · 14th Oct:
Newsletter on LinkedIn - Why Seeking Knowledge Is Key · October 14th, 2025 - A piece discussing the complexities of knowledge seeking, problem solving, and ego. This edition also features an experiment that you can take part in.
Stream on Twitch - KBDE 💥 Borderlands 4 - Part 2 - Week 2’s Borderlands 4 stream, which included some discussion of the weekly theme alongside gameplay
Video on YouTube - KBDE 💥 Borderlands 4 - Part 2 - A recording of my Twitch livestream of Borderlands 4
Wed · 15th Oct:
Board on Pinterest - KBDE - Week 2 - Seeking Knowledge - A collection of pins linked to my content for Week 2
Live on TikTok - KBDE #1 - Letting Go - A personal and interactive discussion of the topic of Letting Go
Video on YouTube - Kiki's Big Dream Experiment - TikTok Live - Episode 1 - Letting Go - A recording of my TikTok Live on the theme of Letting Go
Thu · 16th Oct:
Post on Substack - The Search for Knowledge - My perspective on knowledge seeking and how journaling can be used to learn about yourself
Fri · 17th Oct:
Post on Instagram - Alpha, Beta, Geometry, Whatcha Gonna Do To Me - A poem reflecting on the absurdity of labels and categorisation of knowledge
Bonus Post on LinkedIn - The Lost "Thank You, EY" Post · October 17th, 2025 - A person piece I wanted to share about leaving my job last year; something I thought of and drafted during Week 1 - Letting Go
Live on TikTok - KBDE #2 - Seeking Knowledge - A personal and interactive discussion of the topic of Seeking Knowledge
Video on YouTube - Kiki's Big Dream Experiment - TikTok Live - Episode 2 - Seeking Knowledge - A recording of my TikTok Live on the theme of Seeking Knowledge
Sun · 19th Oct:
Blog on my Website - Kiki’s Big Dream Experiment - Week 2 - Seeking Knowledge - My wrap-up post for the week
I am very grateful I was able to catch up on my streaming and TikTok lives this week. Unfortunately, I made an error with YouTube - I won’t be able to stream on YouTube until I reach 50 subscribers. Instead, I am creating a Discord server where people can join me to connect on experiments and participate in co-working spaces. I will launch this during Week 3 and start building out a space for people to engage with Kiki Dreams Big in a more collaborative and directed way.
Reflection on Week 2
Content Lessons
I found myself reflecting on previous content, as evidenced by the time I spent creating content this week based on last week’s theme - Letting Go. Part of that came from last week’s realisation, where the weekly themes are categorical, and not necessarily chronological. Life doesn’t necessarily happen in order. We just experience time linearly.
There is a beauty to this. Seeing how ideas shift over time, and how trusting the process means allowing thoughts to percolate subconsciously until enough pieces have connected in order to build a story out of them.
For me, this came in my LinkedIn post - The Lost "Thank You, EY" Post · October 17th, 2025 - where I discussed the reasons I left my job while also being grateful for all the gifts it gave me. I needed just a little sprinkle of Week 1’s theme of Letting Go to show me that this post was waiting 15 months to be published. I needed some space to get to a place where I could feel grateful, and not just hurt. If I had posted it any earlier, it would not have had the message I wanted to share.
Sometimes we need to let the knowledge and understanding come to us, even when we have all the information. Our subconscious knows our vision and does its best to work in the background, trying to reach it - until the day you feel inspiration strike you, and the moment feels right to create. Seeking Knowledge isn’t always something you do actively. Oftentimes, trying to force it too much leads to writer’s block - and this is why I keep sharing this idea of having multiple creative outlets.
Thematic Lessons
The trouble that I found with the theme of Seeking Knowledge is that there is no singular way to describe or apply it. While some core elements kept cropping up - such as curiosity and intelligence - this week feels unfinished, in some ways. I believe I am just at the beginning of my journey with this theme.
Perhaps that is the one lesson I didn’t even realise myself, and is what should underpin the entire week.
Seeking Knowledge is knowing that you are at the start of a journey, and you must allow the process to take you on the ride. You won’t know what you might learn that will surprise you. That is perhaps the scariest part, and the thing that holds so many people back from following their curiosity.
We are creatures of habit, which means we tend to become complacent when we find ourselves in habits that are keeping us in place. Stuck in a cycle that is very hard to break out of because everybody else around us is stuck in this same cycle.
Only by following our curiosity and breaking down the mental blockers holding us in place can we start to make small improvements in our lives, which compound into bigger and more powerful changes.
Personal Lessons
I touched on this matrix of ideas this week; the knowlege you:
Know you know
Know you don’t know
Don’t know you know
Don’t know you don’t know
The first two cover what we are consciously aware of.
The third is what we do subconsciously without thinking about.
The fourth is knowledge out there that we have no awareness of.
The lack of awareness of this knowledge means that we have a distinctly limited worldview. If we extend this idea to the entire human knowledge bank, we have a limited understanding of the universe.
But more importantly, it can also cover those instinctual reactions and behaviours you follow without realising they are based on trauma, or external teachings you had no control over being exposed to. This is why it’s important to have grounding practices as part of your everyday experiences. These grounding practices allow you to identify behaviour you actioned that you don’t fully understand or agree with. It may not be violence, or anger - it may be shame, or anxiety.
For me, I realised that I was not seeing patterns that were very clear because I was looking at them the wrong way. Imagine you are trying to put a jigsaw puzzle together, but you don’t realise that you’re looking at the picture upside down. You can spot similar things, but it’s very hard to imagine what the full picture would look like.
I realised this week that I have been Seeking Knowledge in the wrong way - but that is not necessarily bad. For it means that now I am on the right track. But I may never have gotten here if I hadn’t started on the wrong track and changed course.
To give you more context to my anecdote here - I attended Neuroconvergence this weekend, and realised that neurodivergence should not require a diagnosis because for the vast majority of people who are neurodivergent, there is no inherent “disability”. It is not a mental illness. It is a difference in the human experience and biology that is evolutionarily beneficial. We just don’t have a societal structure that allows neurodiversity to thrive.
I have been struggling to understand my own neurodivergence, and thought that seeking a diagnosis would be helpful and validating. It was helpful and validating, but not because of a piece of paper - because I realised that I don’t need a piece of paper. Especially not one that treats it as a disability.
Being homosexual was classed as a mental disorder up until the 1970s - and now that we are 50 years on from that, we are now dealing with neurodivergence in the same way. I am hoping we move towards more neuroaffirming care rather than treating a valid human variation.
Takeaways from Week 2
My takeaways for Week 2 are as follows:
Seeking Knowledge starts with acting on curiosity: Curiosity is the first internal spark. It ignites a question within you - and your responsibility is to cultivate that question. Sit with it, act upon it. This is where the journey begins. Snuffing out that wisp of curiosity is a surefire way of staying stuck in your patterns.
Seeking Knowledge is not a linear process: In order to form the connections you need to get to a satisfactory answer that aligns with your beliefs, you need to fill in gaps you don’t even know are there. Give yourself time, and these gaps will be filled in by other curiosities. The combination of time, space, and passivity is where real eureka moments come from.
Learning is a never-ending journey: There is too much information out there for one person to learn, given our lifespan. Let it be your responsibility to leave shortcuts and new ideas for the next generation, so that over time, humanity can grow. After all, how do you think we got here?
You learn lessons you never even knew were possible: Your worldview is based on your existing knowledge. Once you acquire more and start forming connections with it, there are connections you never thought possible. This is where moments of spiritual enlightenment come from - when all the pieces click into place and that lightbulb moment occurs.
Everything happens for a reason: I’ve always been a big believer in this, but this week has reinforced that. I have come away from this week knowing more about myself than I expected - even if some of that is just a jumble of puzzle pieces waiting to be put together. At least I have the pieces now. Trusting that you are on the right path is vital for accepting what life throws at you.
Introducing Week 3 of Kiki’s Big Dream Experiment
Dream for Week 3:
My dream for this coming week is to ground myself.
I have been running on momentum, but now that it’s slowing down, I feel like I’m not getting where I want to go. But that is not true. I have been collecting so much information in the past few weeks that it’s time to really sit with it and use what I have gathered. It is pointless trying to keep moving and gathering when I’m not fully utilising what I already have. That is the trap we face in society - always being pushed to the next thing.
Week 3 is when Kiki’s Big Dream Experiment really is tested. It is the third step, which is where meaning-making happens according to my own Rule of 3. I want to be fully grounded in my vision in order to make the right meaning of it.
Theme for Week 3:
While focusing on the takeaways from Week 2, and my dream for Week 3, I shuffled my tarot deck. Once I felt ready, I stopped and drew…
18 The Moon
Vivid Dreams and Fears
In many ways the Moon card encompasses the idea of The Wild Unknown.
It is the shadow realm, the place where dreams, fears, and mysteries are born.
Much darkness can linger here, and if you aren’t careful, this can lead to periods of anxiety and self-doubt
…almost as though you’ve lost your way in a house of mirrors.
Many great artists have roamed this inner landscape.
It’s where imagination and creativity drift freely upon the midnight air.
What an interesting card to pull! I drew this this morning for my daily tarot ritual - so it’s strange to see it come up so soon. I’m taking the theme Vivid Dreams from this card. It ties nicely to my dream of grounding, by being aware of the noise and darkness around me, but giving me pause to reflect on where I am. There is a lot to unpick with this theme, so I am excited to see what next week will bring.
Keep dreaming,
Kiki <3
