Kiki’s Big Dream Experiment - Week 1 - Letting Go
Week 1 of Kiki’s Big Dream Experiment
Hey Dreamer
Well, this is the end of my first full week of Kiki’s Big Dream Experiment!
I must say that this was harder than I anticipated. I enjoyed my week, but the time just seemed to slip away from me. There is so much I still want to do as part of this week, yet I’m counting down the minutes as Sunday comes to a close.
Let’s take a look at what I accomplished this week.
Mon · 6th Oct:
Podcast Episode on Spotify - Episode 1 - Letting Go - Full dive into my creative process for choosing weekly themes, and an exploration of what “Letting Go” really means in different parts of my life
Tue · 7th Oct:
Newsletter on LinkedIn - The Art of Letting Go · October 7th, 2025 - A piece about how to let go of the expectations and decisions of external systems so you can master your own journey
Wed · 8th Oct:
Board on Pinterest - KBDE - Week 1 - Letting Go - A collection of pins linked to my content for Week 1
Thu · 9th Oct:
Post on Substack - Letting Go of My Self - A spiritual look at letting go of the past, and how that is an important step towards growth
Fri · 10th Oct:
Reel on Instagram - Becoming the Magician - A video reading of my poem from last week, Becoming the Magician
Post on Instagram - a life i mourn - A poem that speaks to the theme of “Letting Go” as it pertains to death; both physical and metaphorical
Post on Substack - What I’ve Learnt From You, Kiki - An excerpt from ChatGPT as it answered a question I had about what it learnt from me
Job Posting on LinkedIn - Dream Tester for Kiki Dreams Big - A volunteer position to sign up for participation in experiments alongside me
Sun · 12th Oct:
Stream on Twitch - KBDE 💥 Borderlands 4 - Part 1 - Week 1’s Borderlands 4 stream. Recordings are held on Twitch for 7 days
Video on YouTube - KBDE 💥 Borderlands 4 - Part 1.0 - The first half of Week 1’s Borderlands 4 stream
Video on YouTube - KBDE 💥 Borderlands 4 - Part 1.1 - The second half of Week 1’s Borderlands 4 stream
Blog on my Website - Kiki’s Big Dream Experiment - Week 1 - Letting Go - My wrap-up post for the week
While I covered quite a lot this week, including some extra pieces, there are two things I didn’t get to do - TikTok Live and YouTube Live. I underestimated the amount of time I had this week when I would have been able to sit down and stream live. I do intend on catching this up next week.
Reflection on Week 1
Content Lessons
Now for the fun part - well, fun for me. What did I learn?
For one, I had to reckon with the part of me that struggled to complete all 9 pieces of content in my week. As it happened, I did generate more content than planned, by way of additional posts on Instagram and LinkedIn. But I can’t help but feel a little disappointed at being unable to stream on TikTok and YouTube. But this is part of the game - sometimes, time and energy just slip away. I had such little time by my computer this week.
I realised that my idea about having separate weekly themes is a categorical one, and not a time-bound one. For instance, I posted a video of myself reciting last week’s poem - so that feels very naturally part of my Launch Week. So I ask myself - should I include it in my Launch Week Pinterest board and blog post? I feel I should. And I think I will make edits to correct that.
But where do you draw the line? My own line is that I will change the location and category of content, but not the detail. It only makes sense for you to see posts and videos about my Launch Week content in my Launch Week blog post after all!
Podcast Lessons
I was most looking forward to recording my first full podcast episode.
While a part of me cringes at the quality of the recording, I am delighted to have created the content at least. Going into next week, I have now got two recordings to look at and use to tweak the parameters of my recording setup. I want to enhance the audio quality, so I’m going to try a different approach.
In my launch episode, I recorded on a balcony using a microphone - the microphone is not very good. In this week’s episode, I recorded using my new headphones - but the stopping and starting was not very stable. Next week, I’m going to just find a quiet room and speak directly to my phone - may as well try it and see if that fixes either of those issues.
Thematic Lessons
And what did I learn about Letting Go?
Well. It is a skill that is necessary for growth. A flower cannot grow by holding onto withered petals. Just as you cannot grow into a new version of yourself if you cling so hard to the old version. I know from the past 4 months of working on Kiki Dreams Big that every day is a small step in the right direction, but through accumulation, I have come a long way. I couldn’t imagine that I’m in a position where I’m publishing a podcast, writing a newsletter, writing blog posts, creating poetry, and building experiments each week. It’s a far cry from early January this year, when I looked in the mirror and thought to myself, “Ok, let’s start with building a morning routine”.
Conceptually, I have reflected a lot on the theme of Letting Go through my mindset work - but bringing it into the world is difficult. As part of my archetypal system that I use for guiding my work, I learned that I can only truly let go once I get over that threshold of declaring it to the world. It is a step that often feels unnecessary - because why should the world have to bear the details of my innermost thoughts? Well - because that declaration makes it true. Until you declare it in some way, it sits in your mind as potential - potential to be let go of, but also potential to remain and hold you back. This declaration can come in many forms. Whether through action in letting go of anxiety and perfectionism to begin streaming a video game, or through poetry to bring my soul’s language to the world.
The benefits of working through a theme have been many more than I anticipated. One of which is reflecting on experiences and relationships in the past where I didn’t feel I had closure. But what is closure? Some would say it is a finality, a fullstop at the end of a sentence. But I think it is more complicated than that. How can you have closure with something you cannot interact with anymore? Well, that’s where this declaration comes in.
There are some thoughts and ideas I’ve had this week that I’ve spent time journaling about. I want to post on LinkedIn about why I left my job - because I see countless others posting a goodbye message thanking everyone for such a wonderful experience. But what of those who don’t post such messages? Is it because it’s not professional to speak ill of your employer? Well, why should I care what is or isn’t professional? Professionalism is a dirty word, used to shame others for acting outside of expectations. I would much rather have integrity. So stay tuned, and someday soon I will post my farewell message… 15 months after leaving.
Takeaways from Week 1
Each week, I want to highlight five takeaways from the experience. These are important to me, and I use them to build a foundation for the following week.
The theme rules your week: I noticed that through most interactions I had this week, the thought of “letting go” lingered in my mind. This is, of course, because the theme is on my mind, and subconsciously, my brain is wired to make connections and spot patterns. This can be a lot because it means diving deeply into the theme, so some areas can be quite intense. But through my grounding practices, I can always come back to a safe space.
The week’s theme lingers: I know full well already that I will be revisiting ideas and tasks from this week. Something to build upon, now that I’ve given time to exploring this theme in different ways. And that’s good! It means that this theme will form a subconscious pathway in my mind, which I hope to strengthen over time and become a master of non-attachment.
My craft deserves time: I’ve known this for a long time, but seeing it play out in Kiki’s Big Dream Experiment has really shown me that this is a full-time job. It deserves the attention of one. There are administrative tasks I’m falling behind on that are important for the integrity of the work. I have to give myself permission to uphold my own boundaries.
Time is on my side: I posted content this week that I’m sure nobody has even seen. But I’ve seen it. I’ve interacted with it. I’ve created it! Now it’s out in the world, and it will remain there. I may not have the size of audience I dream of, but one day, when I do, all of these hidden gems will resurface and show just how hard I’ve been working this whole time.
Creativity reinforces dedication: As I prepared my content pieces this week - particularly for LinkedIn and Substack - I noticed that reading them back was very therapeutic. Seeing my own thoughts and ideas manifested in the world gave me a sense of pride. It also gave me something to hold onto that felt bigger than my notes app - advice I’m sharing with the world, which acts as an anchor for my own values. Seeing it posted online only reinforced those ideas for myself and pushes me to keep following my own advice.
Introducing Week 2 of Kiki’s Big Dream Experiment
Dream for Week 2:
I wish to find a new angle for Kiki’s Big Dream Experiment.
I follow this “Rule of 3” strategy, which says to try something three times - then you’ll know the meaning of it. The way I’m applying it to Kiki’s Big Dream Experiment is looking at each week as an experiment on its own. As I enter Week 2, I am building on a structure I have now experienced and created within - unlike last week, where I had a structure but no thematic content yet. I am excited to see where my creativity goes now that I have a baseline in content output. Now I’m challenged with finding a new theme.
I trust that the weeks get easier, so that my 9 pieces of content don’t take up as much time as they once did. I want to explore beyond those and start working with people directly to explore their dreams.
Theme for Week 2:
While focusing on the takeaways from Week 1, and my dream for Week 2, I shuffled my tarot deck. Once I felt ready, I stopped and drew…
5 The Hierophant
Mentor, Seeking Knowledge
In its simplest form, the Hierophant represents a mentor or teacher.
This card signifies a hunger for knowledge, whether it is in the practical or the spiritual realm.
You’ve come as far as you can on your own; now it’s the time to deepen your practice.
Don’t hesitate - join a class, go to a workshop, don’t be afraid of new experiences.
A new ceremony or ritual may prove to be both comforting and rewarding.
Open your heart, and your teacher will soon appear.
What a wonderful card to pull, and how interesting too. In the 5 months I have been drawing a daily tarot card, not once has this card appeared for me. Perhaps because it was waiting to appear now.
As I leave the theme of Letting Go behind me, what springs to mind is this idea of surrendering to the process - something I touched on in my podcast last Monday. It is time for me to surrender to the process and let others be my teachers. This coming week, I have several experiences in the calendar linked to meeting new people - strangely! One is the start of rehearsals for a musical (a class?), and the other is a conference (a workshop?!).
I am thirsty for knowledge, and I know that books and search engines can only take you so far. It is in embodying knowledge that we truly live. So, that’s what I must do. Embody all that I have been teaching myself in order to connect with others and see how they embody knowledge.
I want to focus on the theme of Seeking Knowledge. Mentorship is a virtue, but I feel that the art of seeking knowledge is ripe for discussion at the present moment. It follows nicely from the theme of Letting Go.
Let’s see what next week brings!
Keep dreaming,
Kiki <3
