Kiki’s Big Dream Experiment - Week 5 - Upexpected Unheaval
Week 5 of Kiki’s Big Dream Experiment
Hey Dreamer,
What a week it has been! It has felt never-ending - alas, the minutes are counting down. I feel I am in a good place now that I have finished Week 5 of Kiki’s Big Dream Experiment. I can’t say it was all easy - but I’m definitely ending the week on a high.
It was hard to articulate some of my ideas around Unexpected Upheaval. In a way, I can only respond to it by going through it. Each Unexpected Upheaval that comes our way is a new opportunity to learn. I have kept an open mind this week, and so I found myself going out of my comfort zone quite a lot.
Early in my week, I had conversations with potential Dream Testers. This was my first foray into meeting people about my programme. They were very enlightening conversations. I learned something very interesting about myself - I had held back so long from doing calls because I felt so unprepared to discuss my ideas, yet that was not the true reason for procrastinating.
After my first call, I realised I had broken out in a cold sweat and my heart was pounding - I was running on adrenaline. I had been pulled back into my old working headspace, and that had been quite traumatic. I didn’t even think this would be something to worry about. It fundamentally changed how I saw myself and my programme. I’ll speak more about this in my reflections below - but for now, let’s take a look at my content from the week.
Mon · 3rd Nov:
Podcast Episode on Spotify - Episode 5 - Unexpected Upheaval - This week’s topic of Unexpected Upheaval led me down some vulnerable pathways. Vulnerability is important for authenticity and connection.
Tue · 4th Nov:
Newsletter on LinkedIn - How to Manage Unexpected Upheaval · November 4th, 2025 - In this week’s article, I share some personal experiences of Unexpected Upheaval and how they came about.
Stream on Twitch - KBDE 💥 Borderlands 4 - Part 5 - Week 5’s Borderlands 4 stream
Video on YouTube - KBDE 💥 Borderlands 4 - Part 5 - A recording of my Twitch livestream of Borderlands 4
Wed · 5th Nov:
Board on Pinterest - KBDE - Week 5 - Unexpected Upheaval - A collection of pins linked to my content for Week 5
Thu · 6th Nov:
Post on Substack - The Only Constant is Change - Becoming aware of and comfortable with change is important in understanding how you can cope with unexpected events
Live on TikTok - KBDE #5 - Unexpected Upheaval- A personal and interactive discussion of the topic of Unexpected Upheaval
Video on YouTube - Kiki's Big Dream Experiment - TikTok Live - Episode 5- Unexpected Upheaval - A recording of my TikTok Live on the theme of Unexpected Upheaval
Fri · 7th Nov:
Post on Instagram - This is my Belief - This week’s poem explores the multiple identities we carry, yet fundamentally we are just one person
Sun · 9th Nov:
Blog on my Website - Kiki’s Big Dream Experiment - Week 5 - Unexpected Upheaval - My wrap-up post for the week
This week was full of Unexpected Upheaval - one of which was yet another decision to change up my 9th piece of content in my week. I have changed ideas, and what I’m working on now will take a bit of time to catch up with, but it will be worth the wait! I won’t say any more until I publish this new content.
Reflection on Week 5
Grounding
When something unexpected occurs, it’s very easy to become dysregulated and react in ways you wouldn’t normally act. This could be becoming frozen by fear, being rendered helpless by sadness, or acting aggressively out of anger. Identifying the reaction and becoming aware of why you acted that way is an important pathway to go down in order to grow, but your first responsibility should be to ground yourself.
Grounding is exceptionally important because it forces your body and mind to slow down and find safety. In the moment of crisis, your body reacts automatically in order to return to safety. These automatic reactions may not always be productive if they are rooted in aggression or fear - but you can’t always help that in the moment. When you learn to ground yourself and create intentional pathways to safety, it can circumvent the undesirable behaviour, and channel your energy into healthier ways of responding.
It is important to be kind to yourself. I found myself being overwhelmed by a lot this week - I don’t know how, but the universe decided to say, “hey, if it’s your week of Unexpected Upheaval - well here you go!”. I found myself back in my old headspace, and struggling to separate my new work from my old work. My husband was away, and our cats were completely out of routine and acting out. A family member was in an accident, too. There was a lot!
I am thankful that I was able to get through each of these experiences. It was only with the help of grounding that I could do so without becoming victim to my unruly reactive behaviour.
Informative Action
At the start of my week, I explored the idea that Unexpected Upheaval comes in two forms - events that occur which you have no control over, and consequences that occur as a result of your action. I found that sometimes it is important to act in order to move forward, even if you can’t anticipate whether it is the right action for you. Being stuck is worse because we are not meant to remain bound to inaction.
Do something safe but different. It often can be exactly what you need to do, simply by being the only thing you can do. For instance, I found myself struggling to make any progress in defining my Dream Tester programme until I started to talk to people. I realised that I’m actually not as well-equipped to bring people into the full programme yet.
While on one hand, that can sound defeatist and disappointing, it actually revealed a pathway for me to move forward because I have gathered some feedback from outside perspectives. It is also compelling me to show up in the right way by acknowledging that the conditions are not yet right to give people the best experience.
Don’t just act in a way that your goals expect. Act in a way that is unexpected, and you will find different gifts.
Learning
The most important aspect of coming away from an Unexpected Upheaval is identifying what it is that you learned from the experience. Learning allows you to look upon the experience with kindness and objectivity so that you can be better equipped for future surprises. What I have noticed is that the particular surprise is only part of the problem. The rest of the problem is that it throws off your expectations of life in that moment.
It can be really dazzling to have your worldview called into question when something unexpected happens. Learning from the experience is an important step in growing because it forces you to reckon with your assumptions and beliefs about the world. As change is the only constant in the world, learning from these tough experiences builds resilience and wisdom.
This week, I have learned that although I struggled to get back to a form of work that resembled my old job, I unknowingly unlocked a tonne of skills and experiences I had stowed away because they were too difficult to think about. The rattling of my world shook loose these skills that I can now confidently call upon. I had not even realised those skills were tucked away with the bad memories - but by approaching myself with kindness, and learning to ground myself after tough times, I now have access to many more abilities that felt abandoned with my old job.
Takeaways from Week 5
My takeaways for Week 5 are as follows:
Unexpected Upheaval comes in two forms: Fundamentally, there are two ways that surprises show up - as events you cannot control, and as unpredictable consequences of your actions. Each form manifests differently and comes with its own share of potential trauma, yet each one can act as a lesson. That’s not to say that these times are not difficult. Eventually, you get through them and can begin to heal from them.
Sometimes, unexpected upheaval is primarily good: Not all surprises and unexpected consequences are bad. The bad ones tend to leave a larger scar. The good ones get put down to being lucky, and so, without gratitude for it, we can forget they happened. Once you’ve got past the excitement and adrenaline, you can accurately begin to discern how much good or bad has come out of the experience.
Perception is reality: I found it strange to identify so many moments during my week that felt like unexpected upheavals. It felt like such a coincidence. That is, until I recalled that when we focus on certain ideas, they begin to come true. Our brains are primed to look for evidence to support our beliefs. It is both the power of and the blindness from focusing on a particular theme each week. I believe that the good outweighs the bad, because not looking at the week through a theme makes every week the same.
My weekly structure is doing what I expected it to do: I have completed 5 weeks of work on Kiki’s Big Dream Experiment now. I began this experiment with a goal of showing up online very publicly and from there, to experience personal growth offline as well. I have begun to notice the changes showing up in my personal life now, which is a consequence of incremental activity every day, compounding to significant growth.
You can learn to become comfortable with change: There is safety and security in sameness and routine. You know what to expect, so your body feels safe. Big changes cause a lot of discomfort, and small changes are minor inconveniences. But where is the line? It varies depending on your ability to handle change. Using the small discomforts as training can prime your capacity for handling bigger changes.
Introducing Week 6 of Kiki’s Big Dream Experiment
Dream for Week 6:
I want to explore creating structure and tools in Week 6, in a way I haven’t yet. I am feeling a pull to draw more and utilise visual media to explain ideas to help me with creating a destination for my projects. I do this with my own visualisations involving Kiki, and now I feel called to apply those skills to my projects as well. My dream for the week relies on this new vision I have for my personal archetypal structure, and I’m very curious to explore this idea in practical ways.
Theme for Week 6:
While focusing on the takeaways from Week 5, and my dream for Week 6, I shuffled my tarot deck. Once I felt ready, I stopped and drew…
16 The Devil
Addiction, Negativity
Though it may feel frightening when the Devil appears in your reading, this card carries an urgent message and must be interpreted with total honesty.
The darkness of the Devil card takes the form of addiction, negativity, or materialism.
It can indicate an ugly relationship with a person or substance.
Identify this dependency and how it’s holding you back.
The devil’s hooves are strong and relentless—their grip will not loosen unless a conscious change is made.
Free yourself.
This card is full of negativity, and is a tough one to face. That doesn’t mean it’s any less important or useful than the other cards. In fact, it can be quite powerful. We become addicted to so many things because addiction is born out of a desire for comfort. We hear so much about addiction to alcohol, drugs, gambling, and even social media. None of these things are inherently bad. There are many things that people are addicted to that are socially acceptable, yet can be as damaging.
I am looking forward to exploring the theme of Addiction in Week 6. Many addictions can become so deeply ingrained because of the comforts they provide, yet many people fail to recognise the addictive behaviour because it’s easy to build a compelling story about the need for it.
Following the week of Unexpected Upheaval, I am very aware that altering your perception of Addiction can be a difficult and destabilizing thing to do. I hope to explore this topic with sincerity and kindness.
Keep dreaming,
Kiki <3
